Men Continue the Circle

My dad has told me that it has been estimated that by 2020 there will be no more registered Menominees. We will have lost the battle that was started 500 years ago. And so, I feel as if it is my duty to search high and low to possibly make Menom babies but I whine to daddy, that I can’t find any Menominee man to suit me. And, then he tells me a piece of his mind.

Half of the guys in jail right now are there because of unpaid child support. And yet, how are they to pay it when they can’t even find jobs? So, basically, the system is punishing men for something that is not under their control. I could understand imprisoning a man that has a job and refuses to pay but is it fair when a man chooses to live on his reservation and there are no jobs for him to work to support his kids? And, then we talk about my cousin brother. He is a good guy with a lot of kids. He has four kids and two more on the way. He raises three of them alone and yet he still pays the mother child support because the courts won’t let him have custody. After, paying child support his check of eight hundred every two weeks is down to sixty five dollars. He works but can’t afford child care and he doesn’t qualify for any government programs that are designated for women only and for people that have no income; which he does but not enough to support himself or his family. And the circle continues.

Then, there are the people that are raising their grandchildren and the children don’t help support them. But, the parents receive child support, WIC and welfare but don’t have the children. The grandparents that should be retired continue to work the long hours at the casino to support their grandchildren. And the circle continues.

I have never really thought of the NDN men that raise children and I have to say, that they are here and you now have my utmost respect. The good NDN men are punished by a system that was made to support the women, but only the women? It's not fair and I am glad my dad pointed out, that I should not whine but recognize and realize. There are great NDN men that stand up and fight the fight and I am so proud of you and sorry that I have not recognized you sooner. You will forever now, be in my prayers. And thank you for continuing our circle.

Dad says, kids shouldn’t have kids then. Yeah, that is a solution but to what end? How long would our tribe continue to exist if babies weren’t born? Am I the only one that worries at night, how long my tribe will continue to survive? I have no worries that there are going to be plenty of Navajos for the time being but I do feel that I want to continue the Menom legacy. I have made the choice to wait to have children, for marriage and yet I get the constant question, where are your babies at?? Your dad needs grandchildren. People tell me it is good to wait and I have but have I cost my tribe?? If I was young and reckless, I may have had Menom babies by now and that wouldn’t be such a bad thing….yet, the search continues for me to contribute my part of the circle. My blood will count!