L.O.V.E.

Love has been on my mind a lot lately. True Love. My true love? I believe is my reservations, my los angeles. I was once told that I didn't seem to be a Navajo, they only saw me as Menominee. At that point, I was silent, quiet and didn't respond. Later, I got to thinking… then he really does not know me. How I continued to be with this particular person is beyond me. I am not sure I believe in true, movie like, at first sight love. True Love, from what I have learned, takes a lot of faith and giving. The men I have dated don't do much of either. We need to have courage in faith, faith then in the values of another. I believed in another yet he has no faith, in order to succeed we both need to believe. The Native men I have dated, have adapted to the white man's idea of women are there for them and does not need to be vice versa. Today, men are deeply influenced by the paternal capitalist society in which we live in. Capitalism makes it so that people look for a mate that would best suit their ultimate goals of succeeding with popularity and being accepted throughout society...If you truly want to participate in the act of love one must rebel against the society in which we live. I am not trying to be harsh, this is just from my own experience; my own reality. Native men, used to from what I understand, as an example of my father, hunted and provided for the family. Nowadays, I can't even expect a door opened. I know we are all struggling, trying to be Natives, in this non native world. Love is a hard aspect to get, when we have so many other difficulties to work through. I do know; that my forest will always be there for me, along with the desert canyons, the ocean. Even if I close my eyes, ahh, there is river mud between my toes, the porcupine waddling across my path, the beautiful sunset over the rolling desert hills, the rain drops out of a clear sky, the salty ocean water splashing my face, the LA sun warming my back. I do not know if I will ever find a man, that will have faith in me and give to me, but I know that I have found true love.