I met my perfect man, in my dreams. He had dark hair, strong arms and was confident. He was so handsome to everyone but only there for me. He took me to a baseball game in a big city I had never been before. The simple surrounded by the fascinating. We had beer and popcorn. He never left my side and I was the most important thing in the universe. And the universe it was. The night sky was above, just us and the stars. He was possessive but in a good way.
Later we went to his condo. There was a small party, we laughed the rest of the night on the patio over wine and berries he picked himself. The night was amazing.
And how do I know he was perfect? Because, he was Native.
I can’t see myself with anyone that wouldn’t understand why we have to get up in the middle of the night to put more wood in the fire. Or that wouldn’t understand why everyday is a struggle. Or understand why I carry tobacco in my purse and randomly sprinkle it out. Or why I will always love those who make mistakes because of alcohol.
A friend asked me how I could know this man existed and why would I hold myself out for him. “You shouldn’t limit yourself to one race.”
I was then told I was racist because I chose to be with Native and Native only. No, it is a preference. I want my children to be surrounded by the beliefs that my unity with their father could only bring. I was really hurt by the thought that because of my dream that I was racist. I believe we should all be treated equal but I cannot fathom having children with someone that their beliefs were not my own. I am not racist. I am real.
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3 comments:
it is not racist to want to marry your own kind. in my first marriage from which i have 2 children, i was married to a navajo man. marrying a navajo with whom to have children was a conscious decision. the demise of that union was awful enough for me that i was not marrying another navajo. other natives were clumped in with my "bad" navajos/natives categorization. so... what do i do? i married a non-native the second time around. but i will be the first to admit there are days when i miss being understood without ever having to explain anything. when the only explanation is... just because... i am innately native.
I never understood this. Why are we NDNs always called racist or too sensitive? White people always marry white people. Black people always marry black people. Asians always marry Asians. Middle Easterners always marry their own. Latina/os always marry their own. NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLED RACIST FOR DOING SO, EITHER! Why must society have the nerve to call us racist for doing so? Why must our own people go so far as to support those non-NDNS who call us racist, too?
For a long time I dated non-NDN women, because so many NDN women I met had that horrible "NDN men are awful" idea... though majority of non-NDN men they dated treated them worse than any NDN men had. You know what? I got tired of all the bullshit I dealt with, so I stopped dating period. The only non-NDN women I even talk to anymore are those who know and understand that an NDN woman is what's best for me. Society needs to lay off trying to kill off our people.
I know chances of me ever meeting an NDN woman and marrying her are next to impossible... I no longer live on the rez and I meet too many urban NDN women who refuse to date NDN men, but until I do meet one who does date NDN men I refuse to date anyone else.
Beautifully put!
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