Yesterday, I rocked a baby to sleep. And really, I wasn’t ever happier. My dreams have never been to stand in a court room, to sit in a classroom and I have never had a dream about my wedding but I have dreamed of having my children, surround me. I have always felt I would change the world, somehow. I would help my people, somehow give them strength. And, now I know, to raise beautiful strong children to make our next generation.
Within me, I hold fear about being a mother. I wonder if I will make mistakes or somehow lead them in the wrong direction or I may not be able to provide for them as well, as I should. I always wonder about the mothers and fathers in this world, how do they know they are ready to be parents? I don’t know that I ever will be ready but I know it is something that I want to do and be.
There are children out there that need good homes and I may have my own or I may adopt. I believe I will do both. If you are a mother, you are a mother and it should not matter where the children come from. It is a responsibility of mine, I feel inside; that I have to acknowledge and respect.
My fate, fortune and future is to be a mother. I will provide love to the next generation and what else could I ask for?
1 comment:
I hold so many weird feelings about being a mother. One minute I think I can do it, the next I feel scared. I don't feel maternal at all and then I feel a little. I am not sure what my future will hold yet either. I have always made the promise to myself since I was a little girl though that I would not have children until I could afford to send them to private school. Such a weird thing, but I felt my education was lacking and it was the one promise I made to myself a long time ago.
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