Today I was told that I was a statistic.
Because I am an Indian that lives at home with her parents and is unemployed.
I was mad. Slightly outraged. I don’t do drugs! I don’t have kids! I…, I…, I…!!!!
Yes, I do in fact live at home. After ten years of living away from my parents in different states like California, Texas, Colorado, I was home. I have made the conscious decision to live with my mother or father until I get married. I have realized that they both need me and my time with them is limited. I someday will have my own family and will not be able to spend precious time with them. Having coffee with my Dad in the morning and tea at night with my Mom has been my happiest moments. It has been hard at times but I would not have it any other way. The tradition that I am to live with my parents until marriage may be slightly skewed in today’s world but I know it is where I belong. Now, men are looking for an independent woman that takes care of herself. But, I am not looking for that man. I want a man that is looking for a woman that puts her parents before herself. And goes where she is needed. Takes care of her responsibilities. A true Native man will appreciate the fact that the woman is there for her family.
Yes, I am currently unemployed. I graduated with my Bachelor’s and then started on my Master’s program. I learned that being a Social Worker was not for me. I was not happy. I have decided to take a giant leap and start my own business and work on my non-profit ideas to make the difference I want. I am in the 2% statistic of an Indian graduating with my Bachelor’s and if that is not a good one to be in, I don’t know what is. I will finish my Master’s in a more suitable program such as business but not at this time. Although I am not currently earning a paycheck, I am working towards my dreams for myself and my people.
Because I am Indian I am a statistic. But, damn if I am not a good fucking number.
2 comments:
I know how you feel. I was living on my own at age 19. Had to quit college, though. Some questionable things interceded and took my "indian scholarship" away from me. I had the grades for it, but a few "partial indians" were given my scholarship instead. Had to re-evaluate how to go about paying for my education...
Moved to NY after that, got my first job ever, started DJ'in clubs & parties, too. Started saving to go back to school. Same time my moms was working for IHS on the main Navajo Rez in Chinle, AZ. Her house had been broken into. In fact the person who did it, broke into her house in broad daylight and hid in one of my moms' closets overnight, until my moms went on a business trip. All the Navajo rugs my mother ha bought (around $15K worth) were stolen.
When my moms and the Dine police found evidence that the thief (irony... Navajo...spanish for thief) had spent the night in one of her closets, she immediate called me... begging me to move back in with her. That was August 1996.
I packed up all my DJ equipment (several thousand dollars worth) and records (around 4500 records) put them on Greyhound and made the trip out to Gallup, NM,. I lost out on numerous music industry opportunities, because I moved from NY. My moms IHS career wasn't conducive to me going back to school. Jobs have been few and far in between... but had I not moved back in with my moms, she'd have died any one of the several times she's been hospitalized due to her medical conditions in the past 14 years.
I don't drink alcohol (never have, can't stand the taste), I've never had a drug problem, I don't have any kids. I find women demonize me for living with my moms, though. In speaking with different traditional elders, they've said that I've done what's very true to NDN traditions. I don't live the most traditional life, but I find I naturally believe in those ways. I'd never change my decision to move back in with moms. She needs someone to help her with everything. Had I not gave up a life I found incredibly fun, my moms would've died a long time ago and I'd be lost in a world that's increasingly hostile to NDNs who love being NDN.
So many women from other cultures live at home with their parents until they are married. It is a real virtue to have such an honour to your parents. And the right man that comes along will know just that!
Post a Comment